Happily Never After

Alright, I get it. Maybe I have been wasting my time and feelings for nothing all this time. I guess all these emo days I've been having finally made me realize what everyone's been telling me for so long. I give so much, I sacrifice so much... and I feel like I get nothing but hurt in return. True, I become the happiest person in the world when I get the rare chance of spending time with him. True, I smile like crazy when we have the corniest conversations ever. But all that happiness doesn't make up for the shitty feeling I have deep inside. It just won't go away. Things have changed; it's like he's lost that feeling... or maybe he just feels more for the other now. Either way, I hate it. I feel like the rebound. It makes me feel like shit. It makes me feel replaced. Yeah, he can say otherwise all he wants but it won't make a difference. He'll never know how it feels to be stood up and replaced twice. I don't think anyone really will. No one is as weak as I am; they're not dumb enough to stick around. Unlike me, they're strong enough to move on with their lives and find someone that would make them just as happy -- maybe happier.
But deep inside, I'd die if our friendship ever changes... literally. I'd be a bigger wreck than I already am now.
Sigh, it hurts so much. Whatever. For the bajillionth time, I'll leave him alone to be happy with what he's got. 'Cause there's no point, right? We'll see what happens. Maybe I'll be back to square one. Again.