Goodness gracioussss. I haven't felt so low in a while. These past two days have been crap. Yesterday, I blamed it on my PMS. Now I think it's more than that.
I feel emotionally weak. Tired. Drained. It sucks. I've been so happy lately, but it all went away. The only people keeping me up are Sam, Michelle, and Julia -- thank God for their high energy. But anyways, I'm back to where I used to be for a long time. When it happened, I told myself that I wouldn't get my hopes up, but it's just impossible for me. I'm too weak. Too easy. It seems to be the only person that I can run to for happiness, comfort, and love. That's the reason why I'm stuck in this position, all the fucking time. Sometimes I feel like all I ever do for it is complain and bring up things that shouldn't even matter to me. I get incredibly jealous when I see certain things. There are times when I just lose all hope for our friendship. I try so hard to live up to the 'forever and always' but it gets difficult when it's never around. And when it is, it's only for a quick minute or so; nothing special. There's some people it's always around that I'm not very fond of so it's hard to converse and stuff without making things awkward. It's been happy lately and it's not because of me. I have to understand that. It's not drawn to me anymore, probably someone else.
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