Okay so it's almost one in the morning and I'm not sleepy. I took a much-needed three hour nap earlier, that's why. So yeah, I figured I'd blog to kill time since I barely update this anyways. I'm probably gonna end up sleeping for an hour or two later. That's kind of my plan anyways, cause if I sleep now, then I'm gonna wake up late and be late to calc again. I need to cut down on being late or absent to that class cause Mr. Adams has been on my ass about it lately lol. It's funny though. Hm, everyone's been talking about college these days so here's my rant:
Honestly, this college talk is so depressing. Everyone's getting into the colleges that they want and then there's me who got into only one of the seven I applied to. Like I'm happy that I got into Merced and I really wouldn't mind going there, but what if they really take away my admission? I'm gonna be left with nothing cause my dumbass didn't apply to SFSU as a safety school. I don't mind going to community college first, but when I think about it... all I ever wanted these past four years was to get away from home and become independent. Now it's probably not gonna happen. Even if Merced didn't take my admission away, I can't even afford to go there... not even with the financial aid or grants I might get. My social security is STILL fucked up and I probably won't even be able to get any aid cause of it. I know I shouldn't be comparing myself to others, but I truly am jealous. I feel like all the high-level classes I've taken all of my academic life have been a complete waste of my time since I'm gonna be at community anyways. Whenever someone asks me what college I'm going to, I can't even answer cause it depresses me just talking about it. I was alright with everything last week, but now that I've heard from all the colleges I applied to, it's like, damn.. I really only got into one out of seven. This reallllly sucks. =(
In other news... do I really have any other news? lol just kidding.
I've been having bad sleeping patterns lately. I procrastinated on essays and stuff last week or two weeks ago, so I kept staying up late and taking litttle naps while working on them, but for the past week or so, I've held on to that pattern even though I had nothing to stay up for (like tonight). Now that I have a laptop and I'm always using it while I'm sitting on my bed, I've been able to do homework, talk to people online, and take little naps without the hassle of moving from computer to bed lol. Anyways, I kinda like this pattern though, especially when I get just enough sleep that I'm not hella dead at school AND when I have a lot of time to get ready in the morning. As much as I hate being up in the morning, I love it when I'm up early and I don't have to worry about rushing to get ready.
Prom's getting closeee! Like, what? Five weeks? Yikes. I've been looking online for dresses and found a couple of nice ones, but I'm scared of online shopping cause I did that for my Winterball dress this year and my dress barely fit me lol. I'm aiming towards the color blue, buttt I wanna be nice and make sure my date's cool with that color. I haven't talked about prom with him at all, but we will soon enough. I'm head of ticket sales and for some odd reason, I'm hella excited about selling tickets next week even though it's gonna be super hectic and stressing. I reaaaaaaaalllly can't wait to see how everything turns out.
Ahh, cotillions. I'm excited about them, but I fucking hate the fact that I suck at dancing lmao. Catheryn AND Marjo keep telling me to put more energy into it. I feel sooo out of my comfort level thoughh. I know how to do the moves, but I have a lot of trouble making it look nice and doing it fast. Damn you natural-born dancers!
Okay, I'm getting kind of tired. o.o If I sleep now, I'm gonna wake up late. Gahh. I'll kill time by working on my essay due Friday or watching movies online. Orrr maybe I'll tend to my dying roses! HAH. K bye!
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