This week fucking sucks. Ever since that night, everything's just been shit. I only make things worse -- he even said so himself. I don't know what the hell to do cause all the negativity I've been giving seems to come naturally. It's just not the same. I wanna know what's going on in his mind sooo bad so that I can figure out what to do with myself. It's been so irritating that at one point, I was thinking about just... leaving everything. I don't know how to say but like, isolating myself from him I guess. I'm not sure if I could ever do that though. I want things normal again, like a few months ago. Well it wasn't normal, but things were pretty alright then. Whatever, no point in looking back and hoping.
Hehhhh, recap of the past couple days?
Wednesday - Went bowling with Nicole, Cindy, and others from Oceana. Afterwards, Cindy and I went to eat at In N Out. While we were waiting for our order, we saw Aaron, Andy, Dillon, Jeremy, and Harry come in, which was hella random. Chatted with them for a bit then they left. Thennn we walked all the way back to Ranch99 so Cindy could take the bus home... and well, I walked home. Me, Sam, and Michelle went to the bonfire around 7. Lots of seniors were there and it was pretty awkward. Sam, Michelle, Julia, Cindy, and I walked 20+ blocks to get some frozen yogurt then went back to the bonfire. I got pretty annoyed at some people that were acting hella stupid. Ugh, I don't even wanna get into detail about the cave we went to after. I thought I was gonna die.
Thursday - Took the bus to work. I was supposed to have lunch with someone, but uh... he didn't show up. He had a reason but damn, I was pretty mad. So mad that I was fucking tearing while walking around the mall to get some food. -.- Alex came around 330 and waited 'til I got off at 4, then we took the bus to our houses and changed cause it was way too fucking hot. It was Spare the Air Day so we decided to take the bus to the BART station, hoping to go to the city, but the trains were only free until noon, so we just went to Stonestown. I finally bought the iPhone case that I've been eye-ing and Alex saw some cute girl working at LadyFootLocker, so I guess it was worth it.
Friday/today - I woke up at 1215 or something and had nothing to do. '09 dinner was postponed until July something. It was hella nice out.. so I took a shower and randomly thought of something that my bffaa and I could do, but when I came back to tell him, he already found something to do with other people. =| I'm not gonna lie, I excited myself with the plan I had. It was nothing special, but I think it woulda been fun. So yeah, I got pretty sad. I told my sister I wanted to go to the beach so she asked my dad and I didn't think he would, but he said okay. I didn't think he'd actually stay at the beach with me and my sisters either, but he did. Hah, yeah... that's it.
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